Originally published in “Dig” Magazine, 1999.
I backhanded a guy on a plane back from LA not too long ago. I was reluctant to tell the story because it could make me seem like some sort of short-fused prick, which really isn’t true, but it is pretty nuts and just illustrates how unnecessarily wacky people can be.
I was sitting next to a very nice, very attractive, upscale woman probably in her early 30’s and much to my surprise, she talked to me pretty consistently throughout the flight. She was interesting enough that I didn’t realize that the flight was arriving late and I only had 5 minutes to reach my connection- when I did realize it I immediately stepped into the aisle and, continuing our conversation, so did she.
Sitting catty-corner from us was a guy reading a book about the ‘70’s TV show “BJ & the Bear”, “BJ” being a man, “Bear” being a monkey, and the series being one of the worst I’ve ever accidentally witnessed. The man bumped his way into the aisle, apparently still pissed about the show’s cancellation two decades earlier, and after being pushed into the seats a few times, my seatmate asked him very politely if he would mind waiting a minute to get settled because he was hitting her every time he moved.