(Here are 35 random questions a popular European BMX website asked me back in 2005. They are still stupid today.)
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35 Random Questions for Greg Walsh

1. Do you give the peace sign a lot?

You’re joking right?

2. How many Abercrombie polos do you own?

If “Abercrombie” is a French word for “short sleeve”, the answer is 5.

3. Do you always wash your hands after using the bathroom?

Um. Yes.

4. Can you do a cartwheel?

I don’t know… let me check real quick…

Uh, yes, but now I need a new lamp.

5. Would you skate goofy or regular?

All skating is goofy.

6. How many times have you been to the mall this week?

You’re joking, right?

7. Do you regret something you did yesterday?

I dropped my left hand when I threw a cross, and got clocked.

8. Are you allergic to anything?

I think I might be allergic to hippies, and MySpace, and possibly California.

9. Have you ever been tubing?

Is that drugs or something? No.

10. Has school started yet?

Yep. I’ve been dropping my girlfriend off at her high school for over a week.

11. Do you own a guitar?

No.

12. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

Yes. This one time, Buffy got shot, and I hopped in the back with her, even though Willow seemed… Oh wait. That’s not real.

13. Do you like the taste of beer?

No, but it’s the only thing I have to pour over my Lucky Charms.

14. Do you have a piggy bank?

Yeah, it’s called Hell on Earth. But I never get to take any of the money out to buy a walkman like the kids on the TV.

15. Crayons or markers?

For what? Crayons for eating, markers for writing emotional messages on myself.

16. What age do you wish you were?

14.

17. Do you shower facing the shower head or with your back to it?

What are you, some kind of fucking pervert? Leave me alone.

18. Do you have anything in your pockets right now?

Uh, how can I say this without sounding nuts? Wallet, green Hell on Earth bandana, receipts for priority mail, little metal friend, movie stub from “The Family Stone” (yeah, that’s right, I saw it in the theater… it was funny and heartwarming. I’ll kill you.)

19. What is the most money you ever found on the ground?

There’s money on the ground? Man, I thought that was a myth.

20. What is the closest object to your right?

An invoice for our company that is scaring the shit out of me.

21. Do you like school?

For me? No. Because it keeps little kids out of my hair and my yard until 3pm? Yes. What a fucking grouch I am.

22. How many windows are up on your computer?

4

23. Do you share your computer with anyone?

A girl. One in particular.

24. What kind of cell phone do you have?

It’s black, flips open, and makes noise all day. You know, that kind.

25. How many people have called for you today?

One. The same one that calls me every morning. The only difference is this morning was good news.

26. What colour are the walls of your room?

Like, white or something. And why did you spell “color” with a “u”? Are you artistic or something?

27. Are you wearing socks?

No. But wait, can you see me? Well, then yes.

28. How many hours did you sleep last night?

7-ish. I’ve been having dreams about monsters lately.

29. Did you ever get the chicken pox?

Yeah. On Christmas when I was 11.

30. Do you own an MP3 player?

I did.

31. How many songs are on it?

There were around 1700. And according to Dave Parrick, they all sounded the same.

32. Have you been outside your house yet today?

Yes, just to make sure my car wasn’t on the street sweeping side.

33. What is the last movie you saw in theatres?

We’ve been through this, pussies.

34. Did you like it?

Uh, yeah.

35. What do you want to do tomorrow?

Not be in debt, not be stressed out, not get kicked, punched, or choked. But all of those things are almost inevitably going to happen.